AN ARTICLE ONWHAT IS AND WHAT IS NOT PROPER PARENTING When you have a baby, the baby is indeed helpless you as the parent/parents need to do everything for that child, until he/she can start doing things on his/her own, walking, talking etc.
What some parents ought to know is that parenting is not just having a child and just knowing you are the mother or father and nothing doing what a real parent should be doing. In other words some parent thinks that letting the child/children have their own way without properly monitoring them they are going to gain that child. This kind of thinking is absolutely absurd and can lead into major difficulties for you and that child as he/she grows older.
Always remember that you are the parent and if the both parents are around that there should only be one man/woman in that house until that child reaches the full age of adulthood. Children are very smart I would say that as soon as a child is born their senses are well in tack as long as, it’s a normal child. In some cases it takes a longer time to develop in some people.
From the time a child get enough sense as small as they are when they do wrong we need to correct them. If it’s a baby or a toddler you deal with them according to their ages. You won’t slap a baby as if it’s a seven year old, but whatever measure you take to put that child in order let your message be sent across.
Never beat a child without letting them know what they are getting the whipping for. I must mention that there are other techniques other than using the rod. Punishments seems to work a lot, e.g. take away something they cherish very much, ground them or try talking and see if it would resolve the situation .
As small as that child may be his/her brain already sends a message to let them know daddy/granny/aunty don’t correct me when I do such and such. If when that chid is around the mother knowing that when he does something out of the way, mummy would be very quick to correct, he/she would seldom do it around her.
Each parent little motto should be:
Spare not the rod and spoil the childWhen children are spoiled you breed what I’d call 100% brats. Some people thinks that it works that everything a child asks for you give them. You have to let your children know that everything in this world don’t come easily. If on the other hand you do vice versa that very same child that you think will love you very much for the manner in which you deal with him/her. It would back fire on you someday believe it or not, you would be embarrassed when you take them to town/city and you don’t have money to purchase that extra toy, etc.
I have seen it over and over where children literally starts to scream and bawl throw themselves on the ground yelling and kicking up, "I want that toy". Parents stand amazed in awe! Not knowing what to do to bring this child back to his/her composure.
As parents you all love your children and would do almost anything to keep them out of harms way; you sometimes would rather die in that child’s place. Although love compromises sometimes you ought to know your limit, and that is you are in charge. Don’t let that child rule you especially when they abide under your roof. Let them know their places and that you all weren’t delivered around the same time in the hospital, or changed diapers together. Children respond to what they see and hear, if you gave them their own way always that’s what they’ll want forever. If perhaps someday you don’t give them their own way, some will say all sought of demeaning things to you, might even kill you. So stop it right now get a back bone put away the wish bone be men and women in your homes.
If an egg is rotten and you still cook it, it will still be rotten when it’s finish cooking. Just the same with a child rotten once, then rotten for life. They may live to be 90 years and still want everyone to give them their way all the time.
Parents you ought to learn that LOVE is not being goody good all the time. You have to correct your children when they do wrong, spank them when they need it, there is a time for everything. Remember that chastening drives foolishness far away.
Most of you modern day parents I am almost 85% positive you weren’t brought up that way .Oh how we need those all fashion days. When you speak to your child and he or she speaks back to you rudely, don’t just sit there and let them go on. Turn back that curtain of memory and see what your parent would have done to you if you had answered back, whatever you see and it did help you to stop being rude, then try it on your child as long as it isn’t violence.
Today when we look around children curse their parents, beat them, kill and some are now raping what have this world come to? Then just ask yourself why? Who? What? How? and When? Most of the time the parents are to be blamed. Grow up a child in the way you want it to be and they shall never depart from it. If you do wrong things in front your child/ children, they wouldn’t have respect for you. Therefore if you try to correct them you would get back words that can make your heart want to give up.
Some children get to hate you when they grow older and say to themselves if mummy and daddy had corrected me when I did wrong. I wouldn’t be in this situation today, all what you did to gain your child’s love when down the river.
As I am on this topic I must mention that the not beating children law United States of America have is totally intolerant. That’s why they do what they want, go and come when they feel like it, get involved in drugs, prostitution, lesbianism, homosexuality etc. A child needs someone to show them the right part and when a parent could hardly speak to their own child, before the child hit the parent or starts shouting at them and running to call the cops for everything.
When you hear or see these things going wrong etc. Don’t let it tingle your toes and ears. Change those foolish laws and things may fall into its right perspective.
Children need to feel appreciate and loved by their parents and loved one. Always make time for your family, carry them out, and teach them to pray and learn manners, how to be grateful for what they have, show them how to do things, how to behave themselves at home and out.
Mothers you are your child/children role model I only mean in the right way. When the father is away from home, you have to take up his role sometimes. Never let your children pressure you to the point where you say "you see you I can’t handle you". When you do that they would take advantage of you.
Let them know that when your friends come over that it’s not their friends and they need to get lost. Not sticking around and poking their mouths and heads into big people business.
Also mothers if it’s possible where you can survive being a house wife. Try you best; I know it maybe hard depending on the society we live in where everybody wants to be independent. Think about it this way that giving up one thing for another and that is a well grounded child. That would always love and appreciate you.
For all your patience, love kindness and nurturing you gave to them. When they most needed it, and if ever a child needs you is from day one and especially when they reaches adolescence. Telling them about how to try and be prepared for the life ahead. Let your girls know about their monthlies etc. Where they are confused and don’t understand the changes they are going through. The taught that runs through their mind e.g. thinking about boys/girls whereas they never had time for that before.
That’s the time they need someone to reach out to them to let them know you went through it and they can make it to. Teach them about life and what it entails. They may want to ask you questions that you never expected they would.
If you don’t know or feels embarrass about it find a nice way in telling them. Don’t leave it up to them to find out, they could go asking the wrong person and there are lots of Sharks just waiting to devour their prey. Before you know it you child is gone.
Know who are your children’s friends, check out the places they go and what they do. Just don’t sit back and believe everything they tell you, e.g. they going to the mall and when you know wake up you realise that he/she has been going to the wrong places.
Another thing is that parents also need to know there limit. You have to learn that when children get older you can’t speak to them as if they are still small, e.g. If you have a 30 year old married son and you still want to send him on errands etc in a demanding approach. They may do it but look at you as taking away their manhood/womanhood and belittling them. A next e.g. is remembered as they get older they would start wanting to be independent; you have to give some slack.
Trust them, that don’t mean you’d just stop being a parent. Never believe everything your child says, if you get a complain investigate. We were all born liars, so don’t put it far from them, don’t let the little angelic face fool you. Children do the most outrageous things behind their parents back. Then hide behind your sympathy and affection for them.
If you want respect show some to them, can’t treat them any how and expect them to respond to you nicely. Think about when you were there age how you were and then your thinking and understanding would change if it hasn’t, you should always try to be your children’s best friend.
Also when you are wrong acknowledge it and humble yourself, don’t feel that you are too big. We are all human beings so we’ll make mistakes.
So parents grab a hold of yourselves and stop drifting, and we would have better children in this world. If you are not doing any of the right things I said above. Then you are not fit to be a parent.
Done by: Abigail ChandlerDate: March 19th, 2009 From: Trinidad, West Indies
