Parenting Style – Pattern Of Parental Behavior

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parenting65 Parenting Style Pattern Of Parental Behavior


The life of a parent undergoes a dramatic change with the birth of a child and it requires that he or she need to make certain decisions like choosing between bottle or breast, carriage or stroller, continuing work or staying home, employing a nanny or opting for day care.

With children growing up, these decisions continue to change and parents need to decide on the school the child must attend, their meals, allowances, after-school activities and more. All these decisions are dependent on the parenting style and attitude which will influence how the child is taught and learns to socialize.

A Complicated Matter with No Easy Answers

Parenting is a complicated matter with no easy answers available, and many different interactions concerning certain actions and attitudes on the part of parents need to be put together which will affect the development of the child. Such a broad overall pattern of parental actions are termed as a parenting style; not a single act.

Parenting styles may differ and they were best described by Diana Baumrind as well as other researchers in child development. They sought out qualities in children that were most desirable such as innocence, maturity, independence, self-reliance, curiosity, self-control, friendliness as well as achievement orientation and they further quizzed parents to ascertain which elements of parenting nurtured such qualities, and then came up with two factors, which are responsiveness or warmth as well as supportiveness, and demandingness or control of the child’s behavior.

The four major parenting styles they found were authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved. After further research, they came to conclude that the best adjusted children, especially when it came to social competence, were children of parents that belonged to an authoritative, moderate parenting style. Such parents were able to balance high demands with emotional responsiveness as well as respect for the autonomy of their children.

In contrast, parents that are too strict expect their children to accept parental judgments without argument and do not allow much freedom to the child. Children under such parenting style influences will be reliant on authority and will not be able to show much spontaneity. Authoritative parents, in sharp contrast, allow their children freedom of expression and encourage a sense of independence in their children.

Parenting style can influence the child and it has been found that children of authoritarian mothers were five times more likely to be overweight as compared to authoritative mothers, while children of permissive or uninvolved parents were three times more at risk.


Financial Help For Single Parents – How To Find The Funds You Require

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parenting74 Financial Help For Single Parents How To Find The Funds You Require


Being a single parent is a difficult challenge, especially when money is tight. If you’re a single parent in financial trouble, you may find this article helpful.

Governments around the world are becoming more aware of how important it is for household with single parents to have a stable source of income. They recognize that single parents have to make difficult choices and sacrifices to provide a safe home for their children.

Single parents, after all, have other options. Abortion is the first decision to make, and single parents have decided not to take this “easy way” out of their situation. They have not abandoned their children or offered them up for adoption. Whether we realize it or not, single parenting is a choice, and many single parents who make that choice are heroes.

Without enough financial resources, the life of a single parent can be difficult and dreary. Struggling from day to day to provide healthy meals is a battle. Providing appropriate clothing for growing children often forces acceptance of hand-me-downs and clothes cast off by more fortunate people. Health insurance may be out of the question, so free and low-cost clinics are the health care services they must choose.

If they don’t have a car, transportation depends on regular operation of sometimes undependable public mass transit systems. And even if they do have a car, regular maintenance costs and repairs may make using that car impossible. Keeping the children well-fed, warm, and healthy is a major task with many obstacles.

Yet, in spite of it all, they continue to trudge their path. They do what they can to meet the challenges and provide their children with as near a normal life as possible. Fortunately, there are places where single parents can go for financial help. This financial assistance may help relieve some of the stresses single parents face. Any help is welcomed help when your children are hungry.

While the federal government offers some limited help, local and state governments most often are the best hope for financial aid for single parents with children at home. Unfortunately, it is sometimes difficult to qualify, but careful research and persistence may pay off.

Where to Find Financial Help

The best places to start looking for financial assistance are your county and municipal governments. Family service departments, children’s agencies, and local unemployment services may offer financial assistance. Your state government may also have programs that will help. Start with the blue pages in your telephone book. Look for family services, health and welfare, employment/unemployment agencies, and children’s welfare departments and agencies. Make a lot of phone calls to find the offices that can help you.

This may be an intensely frustrating exercise, as you’ll get a lot of accidental hang-ups and be transferred more than you think possible. But hang in there. Keep talking to people, and eventually you’ll find that one dedicated public servant who really wants to help. Get their name and keep their phone number in case you need their help again. And thank them for their generosity. They may do it for a living, but the ones who will really work for you do it from the heart.

Once you’ve located the right office, you’ll have to fill out some forms. Be prepared to spend some time doing it. Patience and tolerance are the code words. You can’t gain anything by becoming angry or hostile. As much as it may chafe, be polite and gentle.

When you fill out all the necessary forms, be honest. Half-truths, omissions, and downright lies will only bring disappointment later on, and they may disqualify you from help from any agency in the jurisdiction.

You’ll probably have to prove your income level, jobs you have had or have now, your address, and the number and ages of your children. Be prepared to provide income tax statements, payroll stubs, mail documenting your address, and birth certificates for you and your kids. The more documentation you have in hand, the faster and smoother the process will go.

It’s important that you know the requirements and qualifications. Most financial aid agencies have minimum income requirements. If you more than that amount, you could may not qualify for help. There may be other requirements, too. You may have to qualify on the basis of rent you pay.

Look into the options available for your children. Even if you don’t qualify, your children might be eligible for assistance for school meal vouchers or other services.

How Do I Know If I’m Eligible for Financial Help?

Eligibility requirements will vary by state and by local government. You’ll have to do your homework to find out what’s required in your area. But if you’ve already located the right agencies, the work is almost done. The agency will have pamphlets and brochures that outline their requirements and qualifications.

Generally, there are basic requirements that all governments ask for. First, you must be single – divorced, widowed, or never married. You may not qualify if you are in a common law situation or living with someone without a marriage license.

If you are widowed, you and your children may already qualify for Social Security assistance. Contact your local Social Security Administration office for more information. Once again, prepare yourself for a long frustrating search. Try to find that one person who really cares. They are out there, and if you make enough phone calls, you’ll find them.

If you are handicapped or disabled, you may qualify for disability assistance. Health departments and employment offices may be able to point you in the right direction for help with health and disability issues.

Parents whose partner is in prison may qualify for financial aid whether or not they are legally married. If you can demonstrate that your spouse can not provide funds, you may be able to get financial assistance from your state, county, or community. This will depend on where you live. Contact your state and local law enforcement agencies to start your research. They may be able to help you ask the right questions.

Again, your children may qualify for financial assistance in their own rights. Look into programs that are geared toward health and welfare for children. But beware, you don’t want to get in a situation where the government questions your fitness as a parent. If you have ever had accusations or charges filed against your parenting, this may not be a good solution.

What If I Can’t Get Financial Help?

If your situation is dire and you still can’t get help, it may be time to make some very hard choices. Perhaps you have relatives who could provide living space for a while until you can have a more stable income. Maybe your relatives would be willing to take one or all of your children in for a while until you can get on your feet. As difficult as that decision might be, it’s better than giving your children up to a government institution.

See if local churches can help. They may be able to provide meals and clothing and some medical aid. Offer to do chores at the church in exchange for help.

If you are homeless, try local shelters. People will not let children suffer if there are any choices open to them.

Finally, if you can’t seem to find the help you need, you may need to consider seeking foster care for your children.

Whatever decisions you must make, make them in the best interest of your children. And God be with you in your journey.


Mortgage For Single Parents – Tips To Manage Finances

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parenting72 Mortgage For Single Parents Tips To Manage Finances


The struggle to manage the finance is a very important factor to consider as a single parent. Getting a proper job to support both the parent and the child can solve this. Finding a job in the immediate vicinity would help a lot as enough attention can be given to the child.

There may be many effects of single parenting on the parent. It is extremely tough and also a challenging task. Many of these parents suffer from the negative effects caused.

There are a lot of articles like this and many websites and also magazines. All you have to do is take some time and search. For articles that are more precise and that will provide you with exactly what you want you could look for them in the libraries. By reading these articles and books one can develop a good ideas how to handle a situation and these articles will behave as a guide and help you out to make your parenting life a little easier.

As the number of marriage break ups, death of a partner or even teenage pregnancies have increased these articles have become very popular and are being publicized widely. There have been many demands over the last few years on self-help tips on how to raise a child being a single parent.

These articles mainly focus on single moms and dads who have lost their spouse because of an unfortunate death and have to raise their child all by themselves. These articles would help them to handle grief and to continue their life without a partner.

In order to reduce all the bad effects the single parents must talk and express well with their children. they should communicate well and allow their children to express the problems that they are facing. Its upto the parents to let their children know that no matter what happens they will be always loved.

The most important thing is the parents should give their child a secure feling, a healthy environment and lots of love. This is important because it helps the children to be in a better psycological position. This will help them a lot and they will feel very secure. This will help in their growth both physically and psycologically.

Some children who are being raised in a bad environment or the children who are the product of teenage pregnancies are liable to be very sensitive than children raised in a normal environment, as they seem to be a usual topic at school or with their friends. This puts in a very uncomfortable position. These children must be helped to cope up and these articles will help a parent to do that.

Some articles are very confusing and are of not much help, such articles must be totally disregarded. As these are articles written by humans they are liable to errors and need not be perfect. But most of the authors use their experience as a single parent and write the articles. And sometimes they are not so informative.

Articles like those on single parenting are of great help for parents who are single to guide their child to a better future and to help them become better citizens.

The most important thing children need is security, loving and a very healthy environment for a proper physical as well as psychological growth. If these conditions are satisfied the children will grow up to be fine men even if a single parent has brought them up. Its always up to the parent how their children shape up to be in the future.


Parent Involvement Key to Student Achievement

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parenting52 Parent Involvement Key to Student Achievement


Educators have said active parent involvement raises a student’s academic performance.  Yet school districts have witnessed a steady decline in parent participation.  Gone are the days when a mother stayed at home to raise children and participate in school activities.  Parents are happy when they are not called to the school regarding their son/daughters behavior.  Something needs to be done to make parent involvement in K12 schools a high priority on their list of daily activities.

 

Parents need more information about how K12 education is changing.  Most parents are not aware of the financial challenges that school systems are facing.  Many schools are underfunded when compared to school districts within their own states.  Parents can play a role in encouraging their local legislators to get involved in changing their states school funding formula.

 

What the educators are saying about parent involvement is true.  Parents who read to their children early develop children who enjoy reading.  Children are like sponges absorbing new knowledge at a tremendous rate.  Today parents are too concerned about keeping their children entertained.  Parents are great role models for their children’s love for learning.  If the majority of the parent’s time is spent in front of the television then it becomes their child’s main source of information and learning.  A student’s enthusiasm for learning should begin in the home then spreads to a child’s school instruction.

 

Some governors are saying we need more standardized tests to resolve the student achievement gap.  Parent involvement is an alternative that costs fewer dollars to implement.  The resources that are allocated for testing could be spent to increase the number of parent leaders who are in the schools.  Some schools are finding ways to get parent’s involved in the daily activities of their schools.  Parents who are involved can learn about instruction methods that other parents can use in the home.  They are the catalyst to get parents who are not involved to volunteer for special projects.

 

Parents sometimes reflect on the bad experiences that they had when they were in K12 schools.  Student achievement can be raised when parents know that their active participation will make a difference in their child’s learning capacity.  Some parent’s are looking at their child’s achievement level to see if there are any differences.  They need to know more about the benefits of looking at the value of education from a different perspective.  Some parents do not know what a good education looks like.  School administrators and teachers must continually advocate for increased communication with parents.

 

Some parents are raising the bar on their expectations for their student.  They are often interested in identifying resources that will prepare their child for college.  They participate in after school and weekend programs right along with their child.  They sign up because of their belief that their program will serve us a link between high school and college.

 

 

The United States is steadily slipping in terms of its edge in graduating students from high schools, trade schools, and colleges.  Starting a national campaign to help parents to understand their role in student achievement is a solution whose time has come.  New and innovative organizations are needed.  These organizations must take into account the changing trends in family structures.  Parents are looking for solutions to the achievement gap.  The solution lays in a combination of community and K12 schools working toward alternative education activities which are easily implemented in the home.

 

 

 

 


5 Tips for Single Parents With Teenagers

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parenting62 5 Tips for Single Parents With Teenagers


Single parents and teenagers – these two words bring to mind the most challenging phases of life. I know because I was raised by a single parent, and not so long ago I was a teenager. I remember the life challenges my own mother encountered as a single parent. Here are 5 tips to help you navigate the ever changing challenges of being a single parent:

1. Remember you are still a family

Regardless of the circumstances your family is still a family – even if it does not have two parents. There are many single parent families that are emotionally healthy. It is a matter of choice, not luck. They choose to make their families emotionally healthy, fun and one that is filled with positive memories.

Parent Tip: Think about the ideals that you want your family to be known for, and write them down. Perhaps make a door hanger or craft that contains symbols of these ideals to remind you of them.

2 Talk with your teen about their feelings

As you may know, your teen may also be experiencing feelings of loss. Regardless of the age and circumstances, your child may have feelings of sadness or anger or just feeling different than their peers. Allow your son/daughter to talk to about how they are feeling. This will also help the relationship you have with them. If you are concerned about your teenger’s adjustment to the divorce, then I suggest you find a qualified professional counselor to help your teenager.

Parent Tip: Look for teachable moments. Those special times when you know your teen is really listening to you, and is engaged, and take advantage of it. Teachable moments are a rarity, so seize the moment. Fina a qualified professional counselor for your teenager to talk with to help adjust to the divorce.

3. Stay involved.

As best you can, continue to be involved in their lives. Show them you are still committed to them despite your stresses. Consistency in your behavior will shout louder than your words.

Parent Tip: Attend school functions. Find those things you both have to do anyways throughout the week and do them together. Eat meals together. Go for a morning or evening walk together.

4. Teach responsibility

Teenagers are usually begging for parents to give them their independence. One of the best ways to teach responsibility is to give them chores to do around the home. Address chores not as something you are nagging them to do, but an opportunity for your teenager to show he/she is responsible to handle more independence.

Parent Tip: Start with small responsibilities and then work into more independence with greater responsibilities. For example, you may begin with teaching them to do their own laundry before letting them drive your vehicle.

5. Live within your means.

As a counselor, I have often seen where parents incur a great deal of financial debt in order to “care” for their teenagers. They want them to have the right kind of clothes, have their own cars and other “necessities” the teenager says they “need.” This approach is lose-lose for everyone. Teenagers are not taught about proper spending, and the parents’ credit card bills stack up as does their financial stress.

Parent Tip: Educate your child on healthy spending habits. If they are of employment age, have them work to earn money to pay for their own “necessities.” Likewise, educate yourself on healthy spending habits.

Single parenting may not be the ideal parenting circumstances. However, it can be done right with children that are happy, confident, and achievers. Each parent can play an essential role in their children’s well being. How about you? Are you struggling being a single parent? Take the reigns of being a single parent to make a difference in the life of your teenager! Do it now before your teenager becomes


Bonding With Your Old Parents – Give Them All You Have Got!

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parenting77 Bonding With Your Old Parents Give Them All You Have Got!


It is important to remember that your parents were your caregivers when you were young. They were the ones who ensure that you were safe, clothed, well fed and had the best medical care. They always obliged to spend money on you if it was needed. Being a caregiver, there is more than just providing food and shelter.

It is now you’re turn to turn on the tables and take care of your parents. Your parents now need you as a caregiver who can provide them with the basics in life. As they move into their older years, they are now struggling to attend the basic needs of life. You have to be the one who can provide all that to your parents by giving them the right food and keeping them safe. Small things like keeping heir clothes clean and taking responsibility of their medication will do a lot of good to you. You also can manage their finances and ensure they aren’t cheated. By managing their finances, you can keep their work cut-off and help them a great deal.

Whether you can, as a caregiver, provide the factor known as “the quality of life” is a question. Your parents gave a lot to you making your childhood nostalgic and really memorable. You had your times of joy, happiness, fun and laughter being part of a lovely family. It is because your parents went beyond a measure to make your life happy and peaceful.

In fact, you can still rejoice all your nostalgic memories of childhood with your parents even now. It was your parents who made your life fabulous and are responsible for all the fun in your childhood. They made sure your life was good and was rich all the way through. Those two people are the ones who now need your help. The people, who have made you what you are now, need assistance and care which you can provide as a caregiver.

So how do you enhance the life of your parents after their retirement years? If you are capable of giving them the joy and happiness, which once you got, it can be very pleasing. It can be a sweet pay back for all they did for so many years. Here are some of the things you can possibly do to keep your parents lively and joyous…

• Take them for dinner every week. If you know when your parents reach home everyday, take them for a surprise dinner. This could be very pleasing and enjoyable to them. Your parents are sure to enjoy this and it will turn out to be a memorable day.

• Provide them ample family time. If you happen to live in the same town as your parents, it is expected of you to spend quality time with your parents to keep them rejuvenated. They will cherish every moment of it. Take them to churches or any school activity and make them feel comfortable. During holidays, make them do fun activities and keep them occupied.

• Make the springs and the summers a festive time for them. Surprise them often and if you could make your grandpa a Santa Clause it could be fun.

• Make their house a home. Being a caretaker, you will sometimes have to take up the responsibility of cleaning up the apartment for them. Do not stop with just cleaning. Stick nice and funny notes to keep them interested. Also stick their favorite cut-outs on the walls and shelves. Make them feel comfortable just like home and try to provide that air of freshness to that place.

If you can do all this to your parents, just like they provided you the fun, joy and the sense of “home”, you can feel that you have given them a little back of what had been given to you in your childhood.

By repaying the love and the fun times to your elderly parents, there is a real value attached to it. These can rejuvenate your parent and can keep their health at bay. It is therapeutic and can help them relive their old times. Put on more effort to keep them very happy and more importantly occupied and see them blossom in life.


Considering a Parenting Coordinator?

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parenting59 Considering a Parenting Coordinator?


Considering a Parenting Coordinator?

Some separated or divorced parents continue to find themselves in ongoing disputes, even in view of separation agreements and parenting plans. The high-conflict nature of those disputes interferes with the well-being of the children and continually brings these parents to Court for resolution.

In view of the cost and cumbersome nature of utilizing Courts to resolve disputes, some parents opt for the services of a Parenting Coordinator.

Parenting Coordination is a mutually agreed upon service as usually is the actual service provider. In other words, parents choose to use this dispute resolution alternative and service provider. The service provider is empowered by the parents to hear their dispute and then depending on the nature of the service agreement, will provide guidance and/or mediation and/or arbitration to resolve it. In view of arbitration, the parents are bound by the Parenting Coordinator’s binding recommendation as if it were an order of the Court. Thus the parents in dispute have access to a more timely resolution service, often provided at lower cost.

Clinical experience and anecdotal information suggests a Parenting Coordinator is helpful in keeping parents in high conflict situations from continually reaching the courts. The efficacy of service depends both on matters originating with the parents being served and upon characteristics of the service provider.

Given that the Parenting Coordinator will be working with some of the most cantankerous situations, clinical wisdom suggests there may be underlying issues of abuse, domestic violence, power/control, mental health, drugs and alcohol affecting people involved in those situations. Hence the service provider must possess considerable training, knowledge and experience in these matters as well as management of people and situations thereby affected. Further, the service provider must be apprised and knowledgeable of issues related to child custody and access/visitation, child development, separation and divorce, and issues related to estrangement and alienation.

Given the personal issues underlying some of these parents who continually find themselves in such ongoing high conflict, there is also a propensity amongst some of them to turn their sights upon the service provider when matters do not resolve, as they would prefer. Thus the same behaviour directed between parents to each other, may be directed towards the service provider. Hence, apart from the considerable training, knowledge and experience a Parenting Coordinator must possess, of equal or greater importance is the ability of the Parenting Coordinator to withstand the intensity of the parents between themselves. The Parenting Coordinator must also be able to withstand either parent’s consternation and intensity if personally directed.

When considering a Parenting Coordinator, it is wise to then look for someone with considerable training, knowledge, experience and expertise as well as a considerable ability to handle emotional intensity, particularly when personally directed. Further, the Parenting Coordinator should provide a clear written agreement specifying the terms of service to thus hold all persons accountable to a set of processes for managing the issues of dispute as well as disputes that may arise, the result of the process or personal variables. The service providers must also be clear as to their own boundaries, fees, dispute resolution, complaints and termination of service.

Grey hair may also be an asset.


Black Single-Parent Families – Some Tips That Surely Help

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parenting76 Black Single Parent Families Some Tips That Surely Help


There was a day when being a single parent earned public scorn. The assumption was that you must be immoral to have ended this way. But times have changed. The past decades have seen a dramatic increase in the number of single-parent households, and there’s no stigma attached to the status today.

Single parents who are facing financial hardships can find help today. Society is recognizing that “it takes a village to raise a child,” and governments are providing more financial assistance for families in financial distress.

And the help is not limited to white Americans. Black single parents face the same challenges and hardships as any other single parents, and government assistance programs are color-blind.

For example, black single parents in Arkansas can apply for a special scholarship program that helps them attend college. The attend school for free and receive a stipend every month to help meet expenses. The State of Arkansas believes that children will grow up to be better citizens if their parent is better educated. And Arkansas does not require both parents to be present to recognize a family. Single-parent families are as important in Arkansas as any family unit.

Black single parents who are unemployed can also get help from state and local governments to find a job. Employment offices will try to find work near the home for single parents who must also manage their household. In fact, they may offer financial assistance while the black single parent is job hunting.

To find sources of assistance in your state or community, check the blue section of your yellow pages. Look for family assistance, unemployment, and children’s welfare agencies and departments, and start calling. It may take some time to find that one person who really cares, but you will find help if you are patient and persistent.

Some local governments will advise both white and black single mothers to work from the home to give them more time to care for their children. The Internet offers opportunities to earn supplemental income from home. It’s not just a dating service! If you have the determination to learn and the patience to persist, you can earn a living from the Internet.

Online shopping services rake in millions, if not billions, of dollars every day. Selling their products through your own website can earn you commissions. There are also many opportunities to find work as a virtual secretary, writer, host for a forum, or a survey poller. And with a little help, you can sell your own products and services over the web. Having your name and number show up when someone queries for a local service is a great way to find additional work.

Trying to earn a living to support your family while also caring for your children is a stressful full-time job. As a single black parent, you may need to find some support to help you cope with daily stresses and the transition from one way of life to another.

Group therapy sessions are a great way to find a listening ear and emotional support when you are going through these struggles. The other group members are in the same situation, so they understand you and your problems. They can offer advice based on lessons they’ve learned while dealing with the same issues. Your local government may even sponsor such a group. Check out local services to see if that free service is available to you.

Support and therapy groups can help solve problems before they even come up. Group members know what you’re going through because they’ve been there. They may be able to help you build strong healthy relationships with your children. They may have solutions to household repair problems that you didn’t think of. If you don’t have a network of close friends to play that role, you may find a single parent group the perfect support system.

Black single parents need to take advantage of all the opportunities and services their state and local governments offer. It’s time to let go of that stubborn pride and admit you can’t do it all alone. Your children need a happy healthy parent, and you need to be there for them. If you don’t take advantage of the programs out there, you’ve cheated yourself and your family.


Single Parent Challenges – How To Face Various Problems

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parenting50 Single Parent Challenges How To Face Various Problems


Being a single parent involves many difficult challenges. It’s even harder than it looks. Single parents deal with challenges all day, every day. Many of those challenges arise from being not only single but a parent. There are children to care for and take care of. And because you are the only parent, everything you do carries greater weight.

No matter what you do, as a single parent, you must think of its effect on your children. You must be diligent in keeping up with their activities and their thoughts as they grow up in a single-parent home. In fact, the biggest challenge of being a single parent is the effect of your status on your children.

The transition to a single-parent family is difficult for kids. They may feel abandoned or insecure. They may feel isolated and different from other kids, even if there are more single-parent families than ever before.

Your children may resent you for the loss of your spouse, or they may have unresolved issues with the missing parent. As a single parent, it’s your job to keep them talking about what’s going on with them and what they think. Even though they may resist, you need to get them to talk to you about their worries, their fears, and their anger.

And you need to let them know they’re all right. They’re normal kids despite their circumstances. They aren’t responsible for the change, and they don’t have to make up for it. You should give them as normal a childhood as possible and be a role model. Even when they don’t act that way, they look to you as their example of what a grown-up is and does.

Your kids need to know you’re there for them, no matter what. You have a busy schedule trying to earn a living and manage the household. But you must never be too busy for your children. Even when you are in financial trouble, the job can’t take priority over the kids. They need to know how important they are to you. They need to know you love them more than anything else.

You’re going to have to build a new relationship with your children. As a single parent, you’re the only source of affection and guidance in the home. Even if you weren’t close before, you’re going to have to get close now. One good way to do that is to do lots of fun family activities.

Another way that will help the whole family is to assign specific chores to your children that will help keep the household running efficiently. Giving them responsibility will help them feel that they belong and that they are important. It will also give them a sense of accomplishment necessary to build a healthy self-image.

Single parents need to admit that they need help and then get help. You can’t do everything by yourself. Trying to may ruin your health, your attitude, and your relationships with your children. Getting to know your neighbors is a great way to find people who can help you look after the kids when you must be away. Neighbors can also help with household repairs and yard work.

Your neighbors may also be adult companions and role models for your children, but you must be careful. Get to know your neighbors well before you allow your children to be alone with them. Remember that the world is a more dangerous place than it was when you were a child. There’s no substitute for good parental judgment.

Time is the enemy when you’re a single parent. You probably have to work, and that means being outside the home a lot. Unless you have help, it also means your children may spend a lot of time at home alone. You’ll need to take extra precautions and lay out specific rules for time you’re not there.

Children who are alone a lot are vulnerable to drugs and criminal behavior. Gang activities are sky-rocketing. You’ll have to find a way to monitor your kids while you’re not home. This difficult challenge must be met head-on or your children may pay for it with their very lives.

You may have a challenge with your children’s attitudes about you as well. They may blame you for their situation or think you’re not doing things right. They may not show you the respect you want and expect. And they may feel cheated if you can’t attend special events like birthdays, PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences, recitals, and other events that parents usually attend. These time pressures are especially difficult for single parents.

If you can’t make the time to make at least some of these events, it’s time to have a talk with the boss. Maybe you can work out a special work schedule or do some of your work at home. If you can’t find a solution with your current job, you may need to look for other more flexible working arrangements. If both are impossible, it’s important that your children know and understand why you can’t be with them. Be honest. They’ll understand the truth better than no explanation at all.

It’s important to remember that you can’t just give time to your kids. It must be quality time that helps them grow and mature. They need to know that you love them and that you need them. Never give them the idea that they’re a burden to you. Tell them often how much you love them. Listen to them. Ask them questions and listen to their answers. Show your interest in them as individuals. Even when time is limited, you can make the time you spend with them special and positive. It’s worth the trouble. And your reward is the love and respect of well-behaved, responsible children.

Even when life deals you and your children a bad hand, you can make life together enjoyable and productive. You can build healthy relationships with your kids and watch them become happy, productive young adults.

Despite the many hard challenges of being a single parent, you must always maintain your perspective and honor the most important priorities. It won’t always be hard or unpleasant. You’ll have many happy times and lots of love and laughter in your single-parent family as long as you keep a healthy positive attitude and keep on working toward a better life for you and your children.


Parent-Teacher Conferences

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parenting63 Parent Teacher Conferences


Communication between parents and teachers is essential to the success of the students. Often, the only time communication takes place is at parent-teacher conferences. For that reason, it is essential that teachers learn to effectively manage parent-teacher conferences in order to obtain the most benefit from the communication that occurs.

The following tips allow teachers to take a proactive approach to parent-teacher conferences, helping to create effective communication during the conference:

Prepare – Preparing for a parent-teacher conference means knowing exactly what goals have been established for the class, and each individual student, and being ready to show parents how their student is performing toward those goals. For each student, be prepared to show work samples and test scores. In addition, be ready to share behavioral anecdotes for that child. A story can help convey behavioral issues without stating them explicitly, helping to keep parents from becoming defensive. While showing the grade book is an option, it must be done in a way that prevents parents from viewing the grades of other students.

Environment – Create an environment that is comfortable for the parents. Placing parents in smaller chairs than the teacher, or facing the teacher across the teacher’s desk, places the teacher in a controlling position that can cause parents to feel intimidated or defensive. Instead, place them in equal seating, perhaps across a table, to establish a sense of equality. Ensure privacy for the conference so parents do not feel as though others can hear what is being said about their child. Organize paperwork so it is easily accessible but out of the way during the conference.

Professionalism – Preparation and proper environment are two aspects of professionalism. Dress and manner of speech fall into this category also. Parents judge a teacher’s competence by the amount of professionalism, or lack thereof, that they see displayed. Teachers who want to be viewed as competent professionals should project that image throughout the parent-teacher conference.

Rapport – Teachers should begin the parent-teacher conference by attempting to establish a connection with the parents. Greeting parents warmly, welcoming them to the classroom, and engaging in brief small talk all help to establish rapport. Teachers should also encourage parents to discuss their views and/or concerns about their children. Doing so demonstrates genuine concern for the child, which helps get parents more involved in their child’s education.

Communication – Not only should communication at the parent-teacher conference be positive, it should also be clear and specific. When discussing behavior issues, teachers should focus on specific actions, including duration and frequency, rather than offering general comments. Teachers should communicate clearly about all positives and negatives of the student’s behavior and performance. Clear, specific statements leave less room for interpretation, which leaves less room for argument by the parents. Communication should also include positive statements, making it clear that the student is a person of value, rather than including only the negatives about the child’s behavior and performance in class. Even the negatives can be phrased in such a way that the statement is positive and does not create the need to place blame.

There are other techniques for managing parent-teacher conferences, but this list is an excellent starting point. By creating a professional, positive atmosphere, teachers can effectively manage the parent-teacher conference and make the most of the communication that takes place.